“Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”
Did I just give you the creeps? Greetings, spooky lovers! Today, I’m breaking down The Witch  into sharp, yummy little pieces.
I have to share Rolling Stone’s description of this beast: “Like an unnerving ‘Grimm’s’ fairy tale directed by Stanley Kubrick and tongue-kissed by Satan.”
Yup. Many won’t have the taste or the patience for this kind of horror, which is a real shame. This is a bare bones horror, a bleak horror. A steady dread that builds and wallows within this family and the viewer. This film is black as pitch. And so, so human. This film will not leave you. In the hours and days after you see it, it churns around your head. The Witch just gets it right.
Every prop and stitch in this movie is authentic to the time period. The costumes, the house, the accents, every…
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Atmospheric. Gothic. Ruth Wilson’s Lily Satyr is adorable, and walks on the edge of insanity. Many found it boring, but I thought it was inspiring, and made me want to write.
“I came into this world as I left it” … “I am wearing nothing but blood.”
- Polly’s grave is described as being “too shallow to call a grave at all. Better to call it a hiding place.”
Jeezy peasy, this movie. If you were cruising for a Halloweenie movie-fix this Halloween weekend, you might have rested on this brand new Netflix original. I was tempted to immediately start typing after the movie finished, but I made myself stop and soup with it for a night so as not to scorch digital paper with my anger (and you, poor reader, don’t deserve that). I actually considered not writing this one up, but I’m going to. Here’s why: there is a lot of bad horror out there, and a lot of bad writing. When horror does something right, it’s crucial for horror junkies to celebrate it. So, I’m going to celebrate what I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House [2016, directed by Oz Perkins] or IATPTTLITH, does right, and also talk about what it does wrong.
First things first: stupid title. I love an unconventional…
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